The Best Beard Balm Strong Hold - April 2021

Polished Gentleman

All of the people, in order to form a more perfect gentleman, set a lack of sparkly vampire-like people, make sure Ryan Gosling seems for everyone, supply ingredients as supercharged as a radioactive spiderand encourage hair as thick as...erm...what is that unique man from that Terrible Bosses film? Not the spazzy one, the pervert one. That man. And secure a glistening life!

What more do you want to know about my products? That they're organic, natural, and produced with ingredients so strong they could tame a shark on steroids while simultaneously healing it of the heartbreak that caused it to utilize these aggression as a form of self-expression in the first location?  

There's also the fact that I find chemicals to be decidedly unpolished. Thus, I keep them out-- as little giants maintain lean, beardless adolescents from entering establishments which function exclusively firewater (also referred to as powerful alcohol, for the unenlightened).

Or, perhaps you'd like to understand that my products are all carefully pH balanced; that is because if something is unbalanced, it's put in a straitjacket and that just isn't very productive. Nor is it particularly classy. Unless you're a suave old-timey magician eliminating it in record time before an audience that half-hopes you'll die.

If you minimize or remove any possibility for irritation or damage, you are left with something pristine and polished. Just like a perfectly manicured mustache. Or impeccably groomed sideburns. Or a freshly washed and waxed rhino that glows so fiercely in direct sunlight individuals who behold it lose their capacity to see forever.

What does all this mean precisely? It's simple. Get Polished Gentleman. Posthaste.